At this time last year, we were gearing up for our second egg retrieval in January. We had lost all our embryos from the previous cycle and were trying to reconcile that feeling of loss with a way to push forward. And I was angry and hurt and alone and isolated. It’s a weird thing when it’s all that is on your mind but all you want to do is get away from it. Constantly reminded of what we didn’t have – even though I tried to recognize that we had SO much. For me, inactivity and lack of momentum are the real dangers, so continuing forward was the natural choice. January through May would prove to be even more challenging than the last half of 2017. Not only did our only two embryos from that cycle fail to implant, I felt even more challenged due to some other circumstances that had changed.
Currently I’m coming to you from the couch, pillows behind my back, 30 weeks pregnant with twin miracles and growing by the minute. It’s amazing how things can change. In under 8 weeks, our babies will be here and our world will be rocked in a way we can’t predict. I’ve had the pleasure of knowing I was pregnant from the second that our embryos were transferred which means that there was more worry and more uncertainty, but also more love. Every movement I feel makes me fall a little more in love with them.
I start weekly appointments next week because this is generally the time that things can change in an instant. While I’m willing them to stay in until 38 weeks, I’m not an idiot and understand that they will come when they come. I have my final baby shower in STL on Saturday and I’m thankful that we didn’t schedule it any later. I’m uncomfortable pretty much most of the time and know this will only continue as I grow. I’ve been doing spinning babies exercises and am going to email my acupuncturist in order to start back up in hopes of getting these babies head down before birth. They’re still transverse and don’t seem to be moving, but we will see.
Our goals are increments of two weeks, so 32 weeks is next, then 34, then 36, then finally 38.
It’s “time” in twin world to pack my hospital bag and the babes’ bags, but I’ve not done that yet. The nursery isn’t done and we have very few diapers, but other than that, I think we’re good as far as things that ABSOLUTELY MUST BE DONE. I’m trying to have a weekend where I do freezer meal prep so that I can get together 60ish meals that we can prepare easily post delivery. I also need to follow up again on encapsulating the placentas in order to help with my postpartum recovery.
2019 will surely be an adventure and 2018 would have been unbearable without so many of you. I’m a lucky gal.