I believe in the sand beneath my toes…

This should just be called: Where were you when you learned about Crystal Meth? I had just tuned 10 (young for my grade) and was SUPER into 90s alternative, thanks to my older brother (and my impeccable musical taste).  I had a knack (or an obsessive hobby) for memorizing lyrics of songs and always enjoyed singing them – no matter the time or the place.  So, I hadn’t quite learned all the words to Semi-Charmed Life, but I could sing most of it.  As I was walking up the last flight of stairs in Sion Lower to go to music class, I was singing excessively when my teacher pulled me aside.  She asked me if I knew what the lyrics I was singing meant. I did not and she explained that it was about drugs.  It was during our D.A.R.E unit at school, so I was already through the introduction to the “dangerous world of drugs.” Forgive my quotes there – obviously crystal meth isn’t good, but “drugs” all being treated the same is asinine, but that’s a different blog, I suppose.

Anyway, to this day, it’s one of my absolute favorite songs. I had the chance to see Third Eye Blind in concert for the first time when I was 12 and it was a life-changing experience. I think my friends were fearful of my emphatic reaction, but it was really just an introduction to my chrysalis.

So, here we are. Tonight’s my 11th evening of stims for this cycle.  My appointment yesterday went okay.  I have four follicles that are apparent – maybe another that’s hiding.  It’s hard not to compare yourself to others, but that’s where I get too frustrated. For others, eggs are easy. People get 20+ with little meds.  Thus, I try not to compare. I fought hard for these and I’m just hoping they keep growing. My estrogen was 265 which means I’m following my first egg retrieval cycle almost to a ‘T.’  I’m literally on 2x the amount of drugs, so I don’t know why I don’t respond, but I’m thankful things are at least continuing to grow.  I did one of my chemist shots tonight where I got to mix it all up which is always fun!  It burns quite a bit, but I just take that to mean that it’s doing its job.

Earlier this week, I asked them if they thought they could pick my vagina out of an ultrasound lineup. They had never been asked that before, but seemed to appreciate the humor. They’ve had the pleasure of viewing it over 100x at this point, so I thought maybe it would stick in their head.  At the very least, I hope to bring some laughter and happiness to people’s days.

For those of you wondering if I got different needles: no.  I decided to be frugal and try to use them, so I just extend my arm fully and then retract aggressively to shove it in as quickly as possible. At this point, my bruises are comical, so what’s one more!? I’m hopeful for an egg retrieval soon with a surprise follicle that might be hiding behind my less than great ovary. Tomorrow’s appointment will dictate, so I appreciate all the thoughts & prayers.

XXOX.

Cheers & Love.