31 and the pain

Ah, another birthday approaches and passes, reminding me another year has passed in our pursuit of a child.  Birthdays are hard, now.  Not because I care about mortality, necessarily, but because with every year, I see my eggs getting scarcer and scarcer.  With a “diminished ovarian reserve” and no children, a birthday is a constant reminder of a ticking clock.

For those of you whose knee-jerk reaction is “31 isn’t old,” I’m aware of that in normal circumstances, but ideally with little to no chances of conceiving anyway, my best chances will be before now (which didn’t work) until I’m 35.  So, I’ve got 4 years.  Seems like a lot, right? Except we’ve been trying to conceive for 38 months already (not all with assistance) and that has not yet achieved positive results.

On a different note, it’s a new year. A clean slate to achieve new goals and improve the goals of yore. Justin and I went to eat in my last weekend before I get even crazier with the extra stims.  I start meds on Monday (June 4) after my baseline ultrasound.  I’m hoping this goes well because I’ve been in a significant amount of pain (endometriosis related, so it seems) for the past three days.  It has been the most in quite some time, unfortunately, which doesn’t usually mean that my sweet, flawed womb and reprosys is calm and ready to be stimulated to the hilt.

All that being said, i’m very excited and hopeful that this will be my best round yet.


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