Floating: My purgatory.

During my childhood I made some mistakes, as anyone did, but some of mine were specifically impactful on my life. Commitment. If I make a commitment to something at this point in my life (and for quite some time), I will go to any length to meet it.  It’s a borderline problem at this point, but that’s okay.  Anyway, someone with whom I work got me a gift certificate for a “Float Spa” here in town. For those of you who don’t know what this is – feel free to see the website of the place I visited –

I was excited to try it. I was hoping it would be an experience filled with epiphanies – maybe something akin to doing LSD (no, mom, I’ve never done acid, so I’m just imagining). So, I went and was immediately greeted by a nice barefoot lady who invited me to take off my shoes and come with her.  Have you ever noticed that “invited” is the nice way of saying asked or demanded? It sounds so inviting….

I was explained the rules – get naked, shower in the room to remove all the oils from your body, then submerse yourself within the pod.  Close the lid and choose to enjoy the mood lighting or sit in the total darkness.  The pod is filled with about 1 foot of water with 10,000 lbs of epsom salt.  There is no danger of drowning and since salt creates buoyancy, you just float on the surface. So, I bathed and immersed myself.  I kept the mood lighting on for a bit until I settled on a color (blue) and then later, turned off the lights completely.  What did I learn? Floating: Not for Me. I don’t think I’ve sat in one spot doing nothing for 90 minutes in my entire life. I kept trying to have an epiphany, but all I could think about was the following:

  • Why do we use Allen wrenches or bolts that require them? Why don’t we just use screws? (Leverage.)
  • Why doesn’t my butt touch the floor? Would Kim Kardashian’s?
  • Has anyone had sex in this?
  • A bunch of random thoughts about work which would cause too much background to be fun to read.
  • How many good things have I done this year? How many bad things? If we are simply graded on a + or – system for our entire lives, am I in the + or the -?

Anyway, I made it 75 minutes before I had to get the fuck out of there.  I showered and went home.  I did sleep well for the first time in ages, but the experience was not my fave.  I might think of it more as an obligation rather than an exciting thing, so hopefully I receive no more gift certificates. I’m thankful to have the experience, however. Next week’s new activity? Getting my birth chart read on Tuesday.

Yesterday, I finally got my medical records. I had requested about a month ago, but it took a bit.  Let me tell you – medical records are hilarious (and depressing).  My surgery and both egg retrievals were dictated, as well as each appointment I’ve had.  Everything is incredibly disturbing, but my favorite parts are when they comment on my mental state.  “Patient is coping extremely well and seems rational.”  Apparently, I’m amazing at acting sane – feels like a slight accomplishment. That being said, it made me realize a lot of things.  Things I don’t care to go into in writing at this point, but it’s quite enlightening to receive the words unabridged.  Also, did you know that your vagina/rectum has a cul-de-sac? I didn’t. (Bailey, you would get real enjoyment out of reading these.)

Anyway, I cut off all my hair today and I’m anxiously counting down the 48 days until transfer.


Cheers & Love.

3 thoughts on “Floating: My purgatory.

  1. Wow! Don’t think I want to do the float thing, but good for you that you tried it! Can’t wait to see your new do. 48 days!!! You are managing all this pretty darn well given all “this” encompasses! Love you C

    Sent from my iPad



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