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Man! I don’t feel like a woman…and other rantings of a self-proclaimed feminist in 2018.

Leslie Knope and I have in common the fact that our most genius headlines are probably too long to publish in a newspaper.  (https://medium.com/@kaleighf/leslie-knope-and-the-secret-to-great-headlines-dee48ec9744) Good thing this hasn’t been picked up by the Wall Street Journal, yet.

So, any type of “ist” is generally met with some type of negative reaction from more people than not, but I’d like to take this time to remind everyone what the actual definition of feminist is: a person who believes in the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes. Most of you who know me know that gender roles have never been important to me. I believe that people should do what works for them and that ultimately, a partner is just that – a partner. If everything that needs to get done, does, then it doesn’t really seem to matter who does it.

That being said, something that has probably been the hardest for me emotionally throughout the past several years is just not feeling like a woman.  I can’t do the one thing that I am supposed to be able to do, biologically, and it’s all-consuming and at times, debilitating. I don’t know how to stop feeling this way, so in true Annie fashion, I’m doing whatever I can to try to reverse that feeling which means taking all traditional gender roles and trying to fulfill them (aka overcompensating for my failures in other arenas).  Surprise! It doesn’t help. I know that being a woman is not comprised of being a reproductive vessel, but when you can’t do it, it is a hard thing to work through.

Tonight will be night three of stimming! I woke up this morning with a different type of headache, so I’m hoping it’s all working.  Other than that, I feel good. I can hardly wait for my doctor’s appointment on Friday and I’m talking to my reprosys daily to make sure it’s fully motivated.

XOX

Cheers & Love!

5 thoughts on “Man! I don’t feel like a woman…and other rantings of a self-proclaimed feminist in 2018.

  1. We’re keeping our finger’s crossed for you guys! I hope 2018 is your year and your have a pregnancy like my first three: relatively “easy” and complication-free. It took me a while to really realize how easy I had it. I never had trouble getting pregnant and my pregnancies never proved to have any real complications. Theodore (not sure if that’s his first or middle name yet, but I’m still going to call him that for now) is a different experience. I know it’s not at all the same level of stress and emotional roller coasters, but being sent to a “specialist” and looking at a C-section and possible genetic disorders takes a toll on me somehow. Fingers crossed we all make it through and our babies get to be excellent playmates 🙂 Love You

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    1. Love you, Kate! So thankful for you and Zach. I am here for you if you need to talk or want to vent!! And yes, I’m sure it’s very similar and very scary. I will hope that things work out the best they can for you guys. 💕💕

      When will you be in Stl next? I heard you found a house??

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      1. Yes, we’re under contract for a house. We’re supposed to close at the end of the month, but no date has been set yet. The process seems to be going well on our end though (as far as I can tell, but I’m completely ignorant on how all this works). We’re coming up to STL on the 25th. I originally planned to bring the whole family and stay the whole weekend, but Zach keeps me grounded and said it would be best if we just go up for that one night and come back on the 26th. We’re going to Star Wars night at the Blues game, then the plan is to have lunch at The Melting Pot the next day before heading back to collect the children from their various childcare programs. We’ll try to plan a longer stay when the kids have their spring break. The kids really love their time at Aunt Carrie’s 🙂

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