Chocolate Cysts and the Hot Dog Flavored Water

Limp Bizkit formed in 1994, but didn’t start getting commercial success until 1997-1998.  Most people’s first experience with Limp Bizkit was the song Nookie which was released shortly after my 12th birthday. My mom thought it was inappropriate, but I’m pretty sure we had already come to the conclusion that music didn’t control me and Marilyn Manson didn’t cause Columbine. So, after the “breakout album” Significant Other, Fred Durst released “Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water.”  I saw Limp Bizkit in concert (with Eminem) on the Anger Management Tour, but since that time, I’ve thought about them very little.

When I first was explained my endometriosis, I was explained about chocolate cysts. Apart from being incredibly gross sounding, it makes me think of this album constantly. The first time I heard the term, legs up in the air, all I could think about was the song “Rollin’,” Fred Durst’s Yankees hat, and the bizarre 9/11 connection.  On 9/10/2001 (one day before 9/11), the World Trade Center sent Limp Bizkit a letter thanking them for featuring the twin towers in the video. Odd timing.

Anyway, the first time (I think) that I had a cyst burst was in January. I had purchased J & myself tickets to a Packers playoff game and we were flying out on an early morning flight after my friend’s 30th birthday party.  We got to my parents house at around 1:30 AM and around 2:45 AM, I woke up in the most excruciating pain I had ever experienced.  I thought I was going to have to cancel the trip because I literally couldn’t stand up straight.  I made it through security, thankfully, and was able to stay curled up in a ball until we boarded the plane.  The pain lasted for six hours or so, dulling slightly at the halfway point.

One of the things that people constantly say is that your body forgets pain – specifically with women and more specifically with pregnancy – so that you can do it over and over again.  I don’t know that your body forgets, but I certainly think it’s impossible to have perfect recall with painful events due to the way the brain stem attempts to obscure these with the production of endorphins.

Anyway, when I woke up at 2:00 AM earlier this week in extreme pain, it was at least recognizable. I keep hoping these cysts bursting will mean that my ovaries will work properly since I’m clearing out all the bad stuff.  I’ve started meds again – will likely provide daily updates starting Monday to see if I can recognize how the higher doses and additional meds are affecting me.

Happy Fourth of July Weekend!

Cheers & Love.