For those of you reading this, please know that I’m writing a history of how I remember it, so it might not be exactly right. Once I’m on to present day feelings, I’m sure I will be able to recall more specifics, etc.
I called the doctor’s office, as planned on day 1 of my cycle. They scheduled an ultrasound for day 3 to make sure that it would be okay to do another round of IUI right after the last. After that ultrasound, they determined that it would be fine and increased my medication. I took the medication and called them on day 10, just as I did previously, to check on the size of my follicles. This time, it wasn’t great news. I had two visible follicles, at 12mm and 14mm. They wanted to let them grow a little more, so they had me wait a couple more days and come back for another ultrasound. This ultrasound still did not result in great news, one had grown to 16mm, the other to 14mm. At this point, without suppressing “ovulation”, there was not much time to let them continue. They advised me to wait one more day and then do the trigger shot on a Tuesday evening for a Thursday morning insemination. (Yes, Thursday was the one day that it was extremely important for J to be in STL.)
Tuesday evening, I felt like a pro, mixed the solutions and had J pop it right in. It was fine, just as the last one which was a relief. Thursday morning, J gave his sample at 8:00 AM and I was inseminated at 10:00 AM. The catheter’s path was much easier this time and the process was quick and nothing more than slightly uncomfortable. Just like the other two times, I laid there 15 minutes, thought some good thoughts, got up and went back to work. I scheduled my appointment for early the next morning so that it wouldn’t interfere with my meeting and so I could not delay the inevitable any further (no matter what the inevitable was – I’d rather find out as quick as possible!)
I did not feel hopeful, at all, this time. Or tried to convince myself I didn’t, at least. One of the tricks I often attempt to play on myself is to try to have low/no expectations so that I’m not disappointed. This trick never works. Apparently, I might be smart enough to understand when I’m pulling my own leg.